Author Archives: vicariousli

About vicariousli

Discovering the World Via NYC

Better Dates Please

Of course I love to eat and observe entertainment in the company of someone who may become the love of my life.  It all seems very romantic and fun-filled.

However, boy meets girl too typically is who can use whom the most in the least amount of time.  Whether one party is just looking for sex, money, fame, or entertainment, dating seems to be just another business transaction.  Wouldn’t prostitution be more sincere and effective?

On average, the North American male will bear the expense of providing said entertainment and vittles.  Some do this and hope.  No, they expect to be compensated with sex.  REALLY, sex for food?  People may work for food, but Applebee’s two meals for 20 dollars hardly qualify for sexual reimbursement.  I’m not even sure if a crack whore would be content with 10 dollars (their half of the Applebee receipt.)

Meanwhile, some women incur huge costs to attract or ensure a mate. Everything from hair, makeup, car fare, wardrobe, babysitting, mani-pedis, time off from work, facials, to plastic surgery take up a significant percentage of their annual yield.  Are these women really supposed to dance for joy because some man splurged on a steak dinner or worse yet coffee?  Usually the woman will incur hidden fees ten times what their date may pay.  I am basing this on anecdotal evidence, but it does seem to be a correlation that if a man pays x, then a woman pays that and more.

If a woman wants a guy from an upper bracket, she better be ready to spend not just on appearance, but to circulate within his social scene.  How else will she meet him if she doesn’t frequent the venues and events he attends?  How else will her conversation be relevant or at least relatable if she doesn’t at least know some of his references?

The dating ritual is costly and time-consuming enough; it would be nice if the parties were sincerely interested in the other.  If one is using the other, then it is just abuse.  If the two are consenting adults that knowingly will abuse each other and enjoy it, then fine.  At least they both know and accept the terms of their quasi prostitution.

However, there is something better, more elevated.  I go on dates to find out more about a person that has sparked my interest.  I can’t confess love and marriage during this stage, but I know this person has distributed traits that seem appealing.  We have chemistry.  We stimulate each other intellectually.  Now, I wonder if we share similar beliefs about the household, religion, politics, extended family, money.  Do we have similar goals and timelines?  Are there any deal breakers or negotiables?  I just want to get to know you so I can determine if you are right for me on a romantic level.

The date, especially the first, is not an oppurtunity for you to palm me, breathe all over my food, or otherwise inhibit my personal space at every possible chance.  I don’t know you like that; I just DON’T KNOW you.  I can stay at home and avoid all the inconvenience, expenditures, and awkwardness of a date.  I have food at home that I can enjoy and know what’s in it for the most part.  I just need a date to act like a rational human being and possibly share a few great moments.  I’m hoping this year of the horse will provide me great dates and real love.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 17, 2014 in Relationships


Tags: , ,

Samsaengi Last Episode PSA

Were you watching Korean drama Samsaengi just to have Dish drop it last summer?  If you’re like me and refused to pay Direct TV just to watch the last few episodes of this tv novel, watch WMBC 63.1 to see what you missed with English subtitles.

According to WMBC’s website, they broadcast in digital television throughout the greater NJ/NYC metropolitan area (including) Long Island, Connecticut, Upstate New York, Eastern Pennsylvania, and Monmouth County, NJ.  If you don’t live in the area, they suggest you please check with your cable or satellite TV provider for the availability of WMBC-DT.

Episode 120 AKA the last episode should air 1 am Friday February 28, 2014 New York time.  I base this on the the fact that the show has been showing daily and today’s episode was 112.

Leave a comment

Posted by on February 20, 2014 in Arts


Tags: , , , ,

Why Your Body May have High Lead Levels

Hello Everybody,

It’s been a while and I missed writing.  Life was happening while I was planning to write.  Any who, I was checking out Food Safe to Eat (non organic vs. organic) and responded to a comment.  I wrote so much that I said, “I need to add this to my own blog.”  If you have any further insights/corrections, please let me know here.

Dear Jeanette,

I don’t know the source of your high levels of lead, but also consider the following. It is possible that your water may be contaminated because residue from pipes, surrounding soil contamination or air pollution.

In a similar vain, the Amish produce may be contaminated (not by them) but by industrial or neighbor’s runoff/air pollution.

In addition, I believe makeup sometimes contain either lead or mercury to help preserve it. I believe mercury may be found in some lotions and mascara. I believe some red lipsticks may have the lead.

Even if lead is regulated in your country, the regulation may be based on how much is allowed in a certain size sample. For example, hydrogenated oils are sometimes added to peanut butter, but the label will say 0 when it comes to trans fats. In the US, this is acceptable to print because a serving size (usually 2 TBL) has a negligible amount (to them.)

I don’t care if it is only .5-1.5 gms of trans fat, I find that labeling misleading. In addition, most people will eat more than 2 TBL in their life. Hence, they may be consuming all this PB not knowing there’s trans fats.

From my understanding, lead contamination is accumulative like trans fat servings can add up. Hence, you may find amounts in your surroundings, food, etc that don’t seem like a big deal by themselves, but collectively are giving you a huge result.


Posted by on November 7, 2013 in Food/Drinks, Health


Tags: , , ,

To Take or Not to Take Zoloft – My Response

I’ve been enjoying the #BlogHer13 conference and community of course from a distance, and I came across a post by @livelovelatina questioning Zoloft (depression medication) and possible long term dependency.  I wrote so much in my response, I felt I should add it to my own blog …

This is a tricky one because I too hate how we are sometimes over prescribed in this country. Since you desperately seek relief without the long term dependency or other possible side effects, I would suggest you talk with your doctor about your concerns.

However, only do it from the medical interaction side. If you talk TOO much about your fears, they may want to bill you an additional hour, ask questions on how does this make you feel, ponder if this is you trying to self sabotage, wonder if you just don’t have the ability to go through the regiment … INSTEAD of focusing on the medication as desired.

Hence, I am providing you with a script. When you set up your next appointment, tell the receptionist, “I want to use that time to discuss the medicine and possible interactions, so please advise the doctor to be ready to answer such questions.” If the receptionist wants to know the questions aforehand, you may want to consider doing so because it may help the doc to prepare. However only give the first question (and not the precursory statement) listed below.

During the appointment, state that you are interested in taking the medicine in relieving your symptoms. Ask, “Do you have an idea if and when I may go off the medication? (Yes, I know this depends on the patient, but I want to know if the doctor has a regiment in mind especially for you or just wrote you a prescription like every other patient.) If the doctor informs you that it depends, ask, “What is the typical duration on that medication from what you have observed in general”? “If I stop taking the medication, are there any side effects”? “Will you monitor my progress and dosage to see if there is a point I can safely get off the pills and still maintain mental health”?

After you get your prescription, visit the pharmacist and ask similar questions. You don’t even need an appointment for this. “I want to take this medication to get relief, but I want to make sure that I take it properly, could you please take a moment to discuss possible interactions and side effects?” “Typically how long do patients have to take this medication”? “Are there any side effects”? “When will I know to stop medication”? “If medication is stopped, are there any side effects”? “Is there a proper way to stop; cold turkey vs. a slow weaning”?

Allow the pharmacist and doctor to answer the question before going on to the next one. I highly suggest you have questions written down with space for answers when you meet with these two individuals. Hopefully they will not read this blog before you meet with them.

I personally feel you should take the medication based on how you wrote your blog, but I also wanted you to at least ask right questions of the right people first. This way your physical health will be considered in aiding your mental health.


Posted by on July 28, 2013 in Health


Tags: , , , , ,

Take Back the Tap (Water)

LUSH makes a compelling argument to increase our consumption of tap water.  They brilliantly display facts in a colorful, concise manner definitely worth reviewing, so much so that it inspired me to add my two cents in this blog.

For example, we really don’t know if all bottled water comes from a reputable source and/or if it is properly filtered.  Meanwhile, we do know all American tap water is regulated to encourage public health.  Maybe this is why 48% of bottled water comes from the regular tap; the companies already know it is safe enough to drink.  That and they get to make a nice profit by charging an exorbitant markup fee on something that is already free and readily available.

LUSH continues their case by pointing out “the privatization of public resources.”  Water is a precious commodity.  We use water to cook, clean, play, and drink.  The human body consists of 55-75% of water, so we definitely need water.

However In my opinion, when something like water is privatized – it puts the public at risk of not having enough water.  If water is treated like gold and gems, then some people will try to overcharge and/or hoard it as much as possible.  Thus leaving the rest with little or none of the highly priced resource.  In areas where water is scarce, tensions may arise over who gets to control the water.  Just google “war over water.”

Even in areas blessed with abundant, potable water can suddenly fall prey to scarcity once a disaster strikes.  You don’t have to go through a tsunami, earthquake, or hurricane to figure that one.  I have had the privilege of having the water cut off unexpectedly because the landlord needed to clean the pipe or replace a boiler.  Hence, no matter where you live, water is still a relief to have or a shock to not have.

To keep water affordable, we should consider using the tap more and investing in our local waterways.  I for one am a lover of bottled water because it reduces the likelihood that someone slipped something in my drink.  I also hate seeing how some people put their dirty hands on the ice or inside the cup I was going to consume.  Professionally bottled water also reduces the cross contamination of people putting their small neck bottles right up to the faucet.  However, I pledge to drink tap in the comfort of my home or when I have the opportunity to see the water giver’s technique.

If you do partake in bottled water, please recycle to relieve our landfills and oceans.  I almost always recycle and this was even before they started giving us five cents back on water bottles.  I will sometimes carry around recyclables until I can properly dispose of it.  However, whether we use bottled water money to fund local water systems, recycle more, or just drink more tap – we all have a chance to help in our own way.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 27, 2013 in Environment, Food/Drinks, Health


Tags: , , , , , ,

Talking to Leah Nanako Winkler: A Cultural Democracy in the Performing Arts Interview


  • From my casual observations as an audience member, Broadway seems to want to make the most amount of money by appealing to the most amount of people. This satisfaction is usually derived from offending the least amount of people and offering the least challenging of plots. Hence from what I’ve seen, most theatre shows are pleasant, monotonous fluff where everything has a happy ending. I do love a happy ending, but I do get bored with the same type of ending all the time.
  • I sincerely believe art is not only there to entertain; it is there to also engage, challenge, reflect, teach and learn from society. Culture informs art and art informs culture. Hence, I appreciate seeing different ethnic groups, religions, countries, etc.
  • While thought provoking material may not get the credit it deserves, it is still worthwhile to have. Whether it is another biracial person looking for representation in their entertainment choices or someone in the future who will wonder what life was like at a certain place and time – diversity is key to providing perspective and hopefully understanding.

The Brooklyn Commune

The Brooklyn Commune’s Cultural Democracy and Representation Team, led by Kyoung H. Park, has designed an artist survey to invite artists to share their experiences working in the field in order to open up public discussions regarding diversity and inclusion in the performing arts. Over the course of the next few months, we will highlight interviews with artists who are in conversation with the Brooklyn Commune’s Cultural Democracy and Representation Team, and we invite members of our community to help us gather more information by completing our survey here. Our team will synthesize our findings and share these interviews and our findings online.

1-    How do you identify yourself? How does your identity influence or inform your work?

I identify myself as a biracial female playwright who grew up in both Kamakura Japan and Lexington, Kentucky. At this point I am a writer that is often self-referential (I write what…

View original post 1,064 more words

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 19, 2013 in Arts


Tags: , , , ,

7/11/13 Mixed Greens: Opening Art Reception

Did you finish your free Slurpee and want even more refreshment? Well the Mixed Greens Art Exhibit might just satisfy your visual appetite.

Of course there are no guarantees, but the tasteful Larry Ossei-Mensah tends towards quality aesthetics. He calls himself a flâneur.  Indeed over the years, I’ve casually observed him enjoying everything from a party in the MoMa garden to touting Winehouse’s artistry to writing on all matter of things.  

Well, His My Global Hustle blog is a treat for a voyeur like me Vicarious Li.  I’m hoping this collection of contemporary, international female artists tomorrow will also delight.

visual arts

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Arts, Events


Tags: , , ,

7/11 Free Slurpee Day

It’s only available at participating locations while supplies last, but I think most people will be able to get a slurpee.  When I did it last year, the store had to freeze the newly restocked machine.  However, I was still able to get my much appreciated slurps after returning a couple of hours.  Yes, I’m dedicated; I do the same thing even when it’s not free.

Back to the main story, get your 7-Eleven slurp on 7/11 ironically from 11am-7pm.  The 7-Eleven website says bring B.Y.O.D.S. (Bring Your Own Dance Shoes,) but I’m already dancing in my seat.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 10, 2013 in Food/Drinks


Tags: , ,

Play Cat and Mouse for Free Ben and Jerry’s

According to twitter, they’ve allegedly been in NY doling out the good stuff since yesterday.  And there just emailing me now?!  Well despite their claims, I have yet to see where the truck has or will be.  They want people to tweet them locations… and they might show up.  Really B&J?  Really?  So if I let you know where I live, etc, I’ll get free fro-yo delivered to me?  Right.  I’m not even comfortable giving nearby locations where B&J or the whole wide world can triangulate my approximate location.

Well, they’ll be in New York City through Aug 6th.  Hopefully, they’ll actually tweet us a location and time instead of us hoping to just run into them at the right moment.  

Visit for updates including when they may visit your state.

Ben & Jerry's Chunkmail
Ben & Jerry's City Churned in New York City
New York City
Connect with us!facebooktwittertumblrpinterestinstagram
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 3, 2013 in Food/Drinks


Tags: , ,

Self Discipline

I’m feeling the hump today instead of Wednesday. i wanted to write every day, but I think I need a break — and I only started this Monday! Hence the lazy, but relevant re-blog

Legitimate Excuses

I’m intent on making a blog post today. I’m not sure what its going to be about.
Does it matter? It just has to be something good right?
Maybe I’ll never start it.
Last night was pretty great. I went to a show at bizarre bushwick. It was another wacky performance art show. I invited Baxton to it earlier in the day thinking Hope, who was coming in from Florida, would want to go out and experience the city.
Hope was sick though, so we ordered food at home. I was still intent on going to the show. I put in my contacts and convinced hope to walk me to the train stop.
On the way there my left contact started to give me trouble. As the pain became too much to ignore I realized I needed to take out the contact and go change back into glasses. This would…

View original post 842 more words

Leave a comment

Posted by on June 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

%d bloggers like this: